The Pink Hiney–a Great Atlanta Tradition
Who would have ever dreamed they would be forced to launch “damage control” from a high level in the name of pigs? Are you kidding me? Wipe everything you have heard from your mind and say, “H1N1.” And forget about The Flu Formerly Known as Swine.
H1N1. Sort of looks like hiney to me. You know that little tune: “I see your hiney, All bright and shiny. It makes me giggle, to see it wiggle.” I’m sorry, every time I see H1N1 from now on, that’s what I’ll think.
After the entire world has been promoted to Pandemic Level 5, and after WHO—not to be confused with THE Who (great music but glad they’re not in charge of the pandemic)–has spoken and said, “All of humanity is under threat,” they decided to rename this disease because it gives pigs a bad image, and people are not eating pork.
The pigs ARE at fault. As the President himself said about closing the borders to contain it, “It would be like closing the barn door after the horses are out.” Apply the same logic to the whole name change. The CDC can’t unring that bell. At least they called it Swine Flu. They really could have named it Pig Flu. Or, maybe it would have been okay to disguise it as in “Ig-pay Oo-flay.” When they named Mad Cow Disease, they didn’t beat around the bush. We knew where that came from. Plus they added a descriptive adjective in front of it to make it even worse. Cow Disease must not have carried the right amount of terror. The pork industry ought to get over it. The whole world could have been calling it Filthy Swine Flu.
There’s one thing that really makes me sad: even if everybody really does start calling it by its new name (the Hiney Flu), nobody is gonna forget where it all started. That cute little pink guy with the curly tail won’t ever be thought of the same way again. “This little piggy” has to get with the program. “This little hiney went to market, this little hiney stayed home”—I could go with that. And one of Atlanta’s best-loved traditions for the past 50 years, The Pink Pig, could stand another makeover:
I think it has a nice ring to it. What do you think? : )
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May 6th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
I’m so glad the “hiney,swiney flu” did not put us in the throes of the last days of earth (which is where I thought we were headed). Problem is…it could happen and we just have to be on our guards for anything. Thanks Sister, for looking out for us all.
Nothing about the H1N1 compares to the image you’ve left in my mind of you on the floor with the shutter on top of you…stretched out, waiting for the big guy to stroll through. Reminds me of when we were kids and you were on the sofa and I came through the door with a banged up head and bloody eye from swinging from a tree like Tarzan with a rubber garden hose and the knot slipped and I fell to the earth like a meteor. When I came through the door, you looked up at me and scrunched up your face with disgust and then went back to your reading.
Your husband would have looked at you on the floor and probably done the same thing.
May 11th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
I love your blog! The pink hiney is priceless! I just visited Cecilia this weekend and knew just exactly what I was going to find when I walked through the door of their condo…protective masks…a “demand purchase” of mrs. jackie! (yep, i was correct, just ask cc what i wanted to see when i got there :)) I still remember the days of anthrax and 911 “provisional” kits that you made the girls have in college
True love. I love reading your updates and I love seeing how your beautiful girls have inherited a glimmer of your talent! always keep us laughing and sometimes in tears! xoxo
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